Player Profiles

 

Here are some of the players from our club. Some still play, some think they can still play and some just don't know when to quit! Thanks to Alex Breading for supplying these profiles.

A - D | E - Z



John Anderson

AKA: 'Johnny 'A''
Pos: Flanker/Winger
Age: 30's
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 15st
Heroes: Austin Healey, Graham Gooch.
Motto: "It's true, dying your hair blonde does hide baldness!"
Hobbies: Sponsoring the FirstXV, Translating what was said at committee meetings.
Profile added: 2004/5

Jon is a deceptively quick and strong player, who commits himself 100% every game. He weighed in with his fair share of tries last season, before being struck down with illness, midway through the year.One of the hardest working people over the club, Jon is also the club secretary. As a life long Tottenham supporter, Jon is now suffering from premature baldness where his skull cap used to sit, as a child.



Jay Bedford

AKA: " Every Mum's favourite''
Pos: Winger
DOB: 1981
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 12st
Heroes: Lassie, The Littlest Hobo
Motto: "Dog's a man's best friend!"
Hobbies: Golf & plastering
Profile added: 2006/7

One of the quickest players in the club, Jay's speed is currently being utilised on the wing. His lightening pace combined with his sidestep, makes him a tricky opponent. He is also blessed with one of the biggest kicks from hand in the game. Formally known for his 'Yob' mentality and drinking binges, Jay has managed to clean himself up a bit. He can be found on the green lands of Canvey, training for the T.V programme 'One man and his Dog', whilst dragging the ball and chain that got shackled to his leg in Gretna Green during the off-season!.

 



Alex Breading

AKA: "Big Al"
Pos: Centre
DOB: 1980
Height: 6'
Weight: 15st 10lbs
Hero: Albert Guinness
Motto: "Put Up, Shut Up, Go Hard or Go Home!"
Hobbies Ethnic 'Booty' Shakin' Training, Eating.
Profile added: 2006/7

His powerful, determined style, combined with his angles of running, saw Al become the clubs top try scorer over the last two years. His dedication (which some may call an obsessive compulsive disorder), means he requires the best of himself, and team mates at all times. First XV Skipper for 2006/2007, Al now has to emulate the 'Great' Gileebo, and fill the boots of the clubs most successful Captain!...........this could be funny!!!

 



James Breading

AKA: 'Big Gay J (who loves a PJ)'
Pos: 2nd Row
DOB: 1982
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 14St
Hero: Bruvva Ruth
Mottos: "Spack Spoon Haba Baked Bean Spaza"; "Sleep when I'm Dead"
Hobbies: Anything that does not involve sitting down too long.
Profile added: 2006/7

J is without doubt 'King of the line out'. He has exceptional fitness and stamina levels, that see him keep going for the whole 80mins. He is a man you can't keep down and will always keep running back at you no matter what. Off the pitch J is a shy retiring type, who likes to keep himself to himself. He never engages in any animal like behaviour, and always knows when enough is enough. You can often find J topping up his incredible tan on Canvey's vast beaches, with a cool glass of diesel, a spanner and a cylinder head in his hand!


John Breading

AKA: 'Johnny 'B'/ Ronnie 'B'
Pos: No.10
DOB: 1987
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 14St
Heroes: His older Brothers
Motto: "Don't be a wretch, train and grow hench!"
Hobbies: Studying 'Brent' Philosophy. City Slickin
Profile added: 2006/7

John has now made the No.10 position his own. Renowned for his some what legendary 'Dump' tackles, he also excels in ball handling skills and passing. He received the 'Player of the year' accolade for the 2005/2006 season. Unfortunately John also suffers from huge head disease, but is managing to fight it with a combination of his 'Mullet', and the fact his body is still growing.



Lee Brumwell

AKA: 'Brummers'
Pos: Prop
DOB: 1981
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 18St 7lbs
Hero: Elton John
Motto: "Apply Yourself!"
Hobbies: Fishing, eating bugs & drinking fine wine
Profile added: 2006/7

The big, powerful prop, had an outstanding season last year, summed up by his 'Man of the Match' performance in the cup final. No one hits the rucks harder, when he fires on all cylinders so do the rest of the pack. His excellent performances off the pitch as Elton John saw him entertain a packed clubhouse on many an evening. This man will eat anything, and has also perfected the art of using blonde highlights to hide the signs of grey hair!



Josh Campagna

AKA: 'Nosh, Noshie, Noshua '
Pos: Wing
Age: 18
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 9St
Heroes: Ron Jeremy, Billy Whizz
Motto: "Run, Run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, im.....really quick?????? "
Hobbies: Sword Swallowing; Using his thermometer to take ladies temperatures.
Profile added: 2004/5

'Nosh' was in and out of the first team last year, but after some good performances of late has become something of a regular. A natural speedster, and despite his 'flyweight' appearance manages to bring down men twice his size. Nosh can often be found round the back of popular nightspots, helping ladies find remedies for their sore throats.



John Campion

AKA: " Arnie"
Pos: Winger
Age: 24
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 12st 7lbs
Heroes: Tory Boy, Carol Vorderman.
Motto: "I've only ever been to the Gym once before!"
Hobbies: Getting Injured, being wild and uncontrollable.
Profile added: 2004/5

John is another winger who after years of playing well in the Second XV, was given a chance to play in the first XV and has never looked back. For his small stature John packs a punch when tackling, and has a good turn of pace. John is renowned for his stiff image, a case that wasn't helped when Viagras were planted into his beer at this years Dinner &Dance.



Jason Carter

AKA: "Big Nose"
Pos: Winger
Age: ??? (Fountain of youth is still working!)
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 12st
Hero: Cyrano De Bergerac
Motto: " Who knows what my nose knows?"
Hobbies: Taking part in the activities at 'Age Concern'
Profile added: 2004/5

Jase maybe one of the elder members of the firstXV, but he is still without doubt one of the fittest players in the club. A solid , reliable player with plenty of experience, he very rarely puts a foot wrong. As a former captain of the first XV, Jase used to 'whinge'.. a lot! Now however with the burden of captaincy passed on he has become the Peter Pan of the club, and refuses to grow old.



Ben Chandler
AKA: "Gregors", "The Bling Princess"
Pos: Winger
Age: 18
Height: 6"
Weight: 11st
Heroes: Callum Best, Peter Andre & Gavin Henson
Motto: "Let the King of Bling make your daughter sing!"
Hobbies: Running the David Hasselhoff appreciation society; bringing beauty to an ugly game!
Profile added: 2004/5

Young Ben is ever improving in training and is currently learning his trade with the 'Stacks'. Some good lines of running and enthusiasm for the game, has seen Ben score some impressive tries, forcing the selection committee at the club to sit up and take note.
Off the pitch 'Gregors' is the male bimbo of the club, and has adopted the Gavin Henson approach to rugby. His kit bag contains moisturisers, foundations and his patented diamante earings. Fortunatley Ben.E Boy pulls the look off with no compromise to his sexuality...honest!



Mark Colville

AKA: " Munch''
Pos: Centre
Age: 30's
Height: 5'8"
Weight: ???
Heroes: Kebab Shops.
Motto: "Bigger they are, Harder they Fall!"
Hobbies: Smashing up opponents, Eating.
Profile added: 2004/5

Another seasoned campaigner, Munch was brought back into the First XV and instantly made an impact. His awesome tackling, sured up the defence, whilst his quick hands allowed spritelier members of the back line more room with which to run in. Munch is known for his love of training, especially fitness training, and would never just turn up because there was a cup final round the corner!



Kev Cooper

AKA: 'The Waterboy'
Pos:
Flanker
Age: 21(again)
Height: 5' 7"
Weight: 15St 7lbs
Hero: Homer Simpson
Motto: " I'll do the DIY next week dear!"
Hobbies: Japanese Weaponary
Profile added: 2004/5

Torpedo tackler Kevin Cooper, is a well respected senior member of the First XV. Renowned for his hard hitting and 'All or Nothing mentally' his body is now kept together by support pads and gaffer tape. His diet is supplemented by a cocktail of pain killers, and his permanent place of residence is the physio table. Despite this he still remains one of the first names on the team sheet. He also boasts the club record for the world famous 'Burger Challenge'.


James Deller
AKA: 'Comfort'
Pos:
2nd Row
Age: 23
Height: 6' 2 "
Weight: 15St
Heroes: Beaker, Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton and Johnny Ball
Mottos: "E=Mc squared", "Eureka"
Hobbies: Studying the Periodic Table, discovering a cure for 'Gingerism'
Profile added: 2004/5
James Deller is a polite quietly spoken man, with good manners. That is until he steps onto the pitch and all hell breaks loose. A competent, aggressive player James always gives 100%. He attacks a pint in the same way and there is no one on Gods little acre (Canvey ), who can down one faster!
Deller, has returned to the club after a spell at University that saw him return as a Teacher. James has joined an exclusive and short list of club members that actually have an education. The transition from fellow Canvey in bred to 'Toff', has left Deller requiring his rugby shirt to be washed with 'Comfort'....tart!


Barry Dennis

AKA: 'Bazza'/ 'The other Twin'
Pos: Centre
DOB: 1980
Height: 6'
Weight:
16st
Heroes: The Sherman Tank, Steamrollers
Motto: "If ya name ain't down, ya ain't comin' in!"
Hobbies: Bashing; Smashing; Crashing;
Profile added: 2005/6

After Captaining the 2 nd XV for a while, Bal made the step up into the 1 st XV. He immediately made an impact in the midfield. A powerful and aggressive player who has the ability to knock people over, and invariably leaves a nice big foot print as a calling card. Yeah and they are big feet! Proof that the old saying about a man with Big Feet has a Big C*?k is total B*?!*?ks. Barry has now found his calling in life, where he now gets paid to enjoy himself. His work as a doorman is pretty plain sailing, helping those few trouble making customers get off to sleep that little bit earlier...if you know what I mean!

 



Dave Dennis

AKA: 'Dave'/ 'One of the Twins'
Pos: Fullback
DOB: 1980
Height: 6'
Weight: 14St
Heroes: Harlem Globetrotters
Mottos: "I can't believe you fell for that...again" ; "Sold! To that man there"
Hobbies: Tattoos; Working on his Erections( Scaffold!)
Profile added: 2005/6

An Excellent ball handler, Dave has the ability to make something happen out of nothing. His cup winning drop goal in the last 5mins in 2004/2005, was echoed in the promotion playoff game of 2005/2006, proving how important it is to have a player like Dave that will take risks! A bit like having the No. XV tattooed on your chest! Lets just pray your Fullback next year!



Gary Desmond
AKA: 'The Crooner '
Pos: Scrum Half
Age: 42
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 10st
Heroes: Sammy Davis Jnr, Bing Crosby, John Breading
Motto: "Tonight Matthew I'm going to be........."
Hobbies: Karaoke, kicking practice
Profile added: 2005/6

Footballer turned Rugby superstar, living legend Gary Desmond is the exception that proves the rule. A late comer to the game & the club, Gary is now one of the pivotal players for the Stacks. A passionate man, who loves the club and gets things done. He is always learning and improving and has taken on the kicking duties for the 2's, as he tries to emulate his hero Brett Smith from the 1 st XV. Gal got the whole club rocking, as he demonstrated his singing talents to the world one night at a club function. That night went down as one of the greatest in history, and the 'Crooner' was born!


A - D | E - Z

 

Upcoming Games


1st XV (A) vs
Upminster
12th Dec09.
-------------------
2nd XV (H) vs
East London 2s Friendly
12th Dec 09.
-------------------
3rd XV (H) vs
Dagenham 3s  Friendly early KO
12th Dec 09.


-------------------

 

Our Sponsors


Terrafirma
Pipeline Ltd

S L Clarke
Construction

AWH Utilities